Regina Rowley

You Are Not Alone

This post is for those who are struggling due to surviving a toxic childhood. If you had the good fortune and luxury of a healthy and loving relationship with your dad, may this post serve to help you gain insight.

It is no secret that I am a survivor of childhood domestic violence and sexual assault. That, the very ones who should have protected me and advocated for me, failed miserably.

Recent experiences over the past few months have brought a flood of emotions and memories to the surface, propelling me to enlist the guidance and support of professional counseling. If you are a survivor of sexual assault, I highly encourage you to seek the assistance of a trained counselor. To quote Dr. Susan Forward and Craig Buck authors of Toxic Parents, “Professional help is a must for adults who were sexually abused as children. Nothing in my experience responds more dramatically and completely to therapy, despite the depth of the damage.” Even if you enlisted the guidance of a counselor in the past, be open to the fact you may need to again. Life doesn’t pull any punches and sometimes, the past comes blowing in, stirring that which you thought was long buried.

I am doing well and only share this to remind my fellow surviors, you are not alone. Part of our healing includes grieving for that which was stollen from us; grieving for that “Daddy-Daughter” relationship we missed out on. This Father’s Day has brought me face to face with this grieving process, like never before. It has been deep and intense, leading me to share and encourage. I now realize what ever I am feeling, there are others feeling it too. May I encourage you to be kind to yourself through this process. Take the time to grieve and heal. Surround yourself with those who support and encourage you. Stretch your gorgeous wings, Butterfly, and fly high above the darkness of times past. I Believe in You! I am here for you. Together, we are making Stepping Stones from Skeletons.

Remember to value yourself, for you are so very valuable. ‘You are Beautiful! You are Confident and Strong. You are worth protecting!’ If depression begins knocking at your door, or completely blew the door down, may I remind you to find a sliver of hope and express gratitude for this sliver, no matter how small it may be. To quote Heather Parrie, “You are worhty of breathing. Someday you will learn that. So don’t ask yourself why you can’t be Smarter, Stronger, Cuter. Because depression took a lot from you and you are still  fighting to take it back.” Fight my friend, fight! The world needs you. You are not alone.

This is your special invitation to join me at www.IAmXena .com. Membership is free and we are providing opportunities for you to be equipped and empowered to be your own line of defense. Like many survivors, I am #Proactive vs #Reactive when it comes to #PersonalProtection. I want to help you do the same. Thank you for helping us spread the word, sharing us and our message with your community and circles of influence. #WeAreXena #IAmXena #StrengthInNumbers I appreciate you!

Stepping Stones From Skeletons: I Needed Someone to Believe Me… Save Me

Stepping Stones From Skeletons is an ongoing series on my blog: KUTA Empowered Women. This is a platform for survivors to encourage, inspire and share so other survivors can find their own voice. You are not alone. #NoMoreSilence #IAmXena #WeAreXena #ViolenceStopsHere

Thank you for sharing your strength and your voice Debby.

July 20, 2015

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Regina Rowley 2015